it's not the weather

alwaysthehours @ 2004-03-13T01:42:00

2004-03-13T06:33:37Z

oh he was throwing razors tonight
& im not manipulative, but i clearly have a way with him.
somehow i catch the razors between my teeth
and with a drop in my tone, i soothe him into melt.

but where is he now?

2003-11-24T04:14:32Z

i once knew a boy
who made me hold my breath

for minutes each word
buttered my face pink

my lungs tried to flutter open
for one lick of air

thoughts escaped and
tripped along, nervous and directionless

until he received it.

with his response
my heart would send my mouth on another dare
his voice, a home

an answer to my whispered shygirl prayers.

alwaysthehours @ 2003-06-30T21:57:00

2003-07-01T02:09:29Z

me: "I think they just want me to do something that will make me happy."

him: " I want to make you happy, after you get over the nerves of course!

XXXXX O"

siiiiggghhh.

alwaysthehours @ 2003-06-05T13:48:00

2003-06-05T18:08:13Z

for a moment i truly believed everything was over, and i nearly gave in. i am exhausted, and i felt a strong urge to call it quits. this point is almost a balancing act you fall towards it and you can either stay at that point and let it pierce through you, or you can somehow roll over it with only a few physical marks, and another chapter in your heart and mind. when i found myself suddenly on the other side, i needed to talk to someone . connect myself with a relationship that i hold dear, another signal of "yes you are HERE. and you are alive."

my mind went through a short list of people who i wanted to reach out to.

this may come as a surprise, but you were one of those people. or, perhaps that isn't in the least bit surprising to you.

alwaysthehours @ 2003-05-31T21:44:00

2003-06-01T02:00:06Z

help me get us to the point.
your silence is eroding the purest parts of my heart.

///

i've gotta talk to all your girls
i need a second or fifth serving of a much needed, but most unwanted warning.

alwaysthehours @ 2003-05-29T17:31:00

2003-05-29T21:46:06Z

i love you in ways i can't even explain

alwaysthehours @ 2003-05-25T22:11:00

2003-05-26T01:32:32Z

a thunderstorm outside
as we offered ourselves, and our bodies to each other
both taking and receiving.

alwaysthehours @ 2003-05-21T19:55:00

2003-05-21T23:08:57Z

don't send me your overtures
no, i don't need an introduction to his why's and what's of --hey, i'm gonna call it love

when her milkstained skin brings out the pink
yeah, i said when she takes it out

better take cover

honey, it ain't her offer.

alwaysthehours @ 2003-05-17T00:02:00

2003-05-17T04:03:37Z

i love you

and i carry this with me, like a weight of guilt.

my first and second lovers

2003-05-13T00:37:27Z

she was more delicate with her touch.
he has a tendency to devour.

3 / 3 / 2003

2003-05-12T23:04:03Z

Secret thought police

go back through words
and uncomfortable silence in the breaks
letters never sent
will one day appear on your door step
I walked in circles for so long
heel to toe heel to toe
have you changed the invitation ?
wait too long & catch me if you can
try and catch me if you can.

alwaysthehours @ 2003-05-11T20:19:00

2003-05-12T00:31:09Z

I don't often think of zipping down your fly

curling your glance around my smallest finger,
drawing you in

a greater thought to employ.

alwaysthehours @ 2003-05-10T17:11:00

2003-05-10T21:13:17Z

I fear I've lost your interest.

But, I could only pretend to be mysterious for so long..
the truth is i've never lived with my feet on the ground
and i've always looked in your direction, quietly but frantically waving
hoping to catch and hold onto your attention
hoping you'd never strain to look away .

BARE YOUR TEETH

2003-05-06T17:09:35Z

jump girl, jump

don't wax romantic
with poetry of aeroplanes
counting stolen miles in the night

that's just the incessant chatter
of stale thoughts
deprived of first hand endorphins

old as folded notes in the drawer

jump girl, jump
onto the doorstep
unexpected
leave your shy smile at home

rolling joints
and peeling oranges

let the juice run down your face
and laugh